The end of 2007

The end is neigh my fellow americans (like those tv announcements you see on movies when a disaster hits or something) Today! is christmas, and the time for destruction of 2007 is almost at hand! Our hopes are ever so high, and you get the point, i can't think of anything more to add to this crap.
We are sooo close to the end of 2007 it just makes me wanna find a random hot girl on the street and make out with her when the moment strikes. Meh! A fantasy I've still yet to make come true. But anyway! a new year brings new fortune and new things, what to dooo what to doo? Most people have compiled a list of their most wanted desires for this year. And or mentioned a list of hopeful actions (or the lack of) that they wish to do next year.
Oh no, you don't honestly think i would fall into either of these categories now do you? I've ran out of excuses to use when it comes to new years resolutions, if you wanna do it, just do it. Instead of making a long list that you might live up to.
Oh darn, I've lost my thought, maybe that didn't make much sense, but it's the most sense i can make it. Just DEW IT!
I'd like to say, for 2008, I've got a good feeling about it. hope you do too.
Oh yea, and happy xmas, heh i don't exactly celebrate it anyway it's lame

PenMouse thing?

What is it this time?What's that you ask? Well... it's... bamboo? Black?

Point

A circle has neither a beginning nor an end. For it is a continuous line... if you can call it that, cause a line has a beginning AND an end. Something just as cool as a circle is a mobius strip (sp) It has one continuous strip and it's 3-d and it has an endless face, cause face has edges, and it doesn't really have an edge.
By now, you should still be thinking, "ummm what are you getting at?" Exactly, this is my exact point. Everything we should do should have a point to it. You may disagree but if you think hard, you will find that everything you do ends up having a point.
The strange thing is, it's quite obvious that everything has a point. But! I do not know what I am trying to explain here in the long run. Doesn't mean it has no point, it has just escaped me. But then again, things don't need to have a point - or do they?

Just another day in the land of the strange

You've only got your word

Some of you may know that all a person really has to offer is Trust, and therefor what they say.
Personally I hate people who can't keep their word, even in the little things. And just because you have an excuse, it doesn't make it alright.
In this world, we've only got each other, each other's word and which translates to trust. Can you trust the people around you? Can you trust them to keep their word no matter how small of a task? I certainly hope we all have people we can trust.

If all else fails, you can always trust them to be untrustworthy.
And if you often don't keep to your word, don't offer it.

Tip of my tongue

The words are all assembled, all ordered like a marching band. And yet, these troops can not be deployed, the general's lack of sense prohibits their deployment into the air waves. Unable to sing their song on the airwaves, unable to fulfill their destinies as did pilots did in the wars a long long time ago.

The war is long over now, these troops never seen the horizon's edge. Still waiting for the chance, to soar, they await.

Forget

Do know the difference between things you should forget, and things you should remember forever. Also note the slight difference between things you will forget and things you can not forget.
Sometimes there are moments of your life that will shape the course of your life: Meeting someone different, having a child, losing a loved one, held to at gunpoint. There are happy sugar coated memories that will turn your brain into candy floss, and then there are the deep foul stench of others that will pollute your brain and thus you.
Sometimes things are better left forgotten, but do not forget it all, remember what was important out of this failure, this way you should not do the same thing, or at least recognise it.
Sometimes things are so sweet the whole scene becomes hazy and you lose it, but you still remember the feeling of joy, at least the main parts.

I realise that this post doesn't exactly have an ordered structure and real point to it, but it's just some food for thought, sometimes we need to be reminded, to jog our memories so we don't forget. (that part did make sense right? - i forget)

The place that is Taiwan

This is my diggs here in Taiwan! Great fun place really, if you exclude the midnight road works and bustling cars and truck driving past at 2am in the morning. All that and that annoying convenience store's little tune when someone walks past it's detectors.

Here's a rather nice shot actually, this is as clean and civilised an area can possibly get. See how it's so desolate? That's part of it's cleanliness - no people = no people littering and screwing things up.

This is next to the elevated rail way (above is the foundation) See how scruffy it looks now?

There are wide open spaces.... just not in those apartment clusters, beautiful, but highly dense in population

Here's the elevated rail, it rings every-now and then, which shows you how close I live. What you may notice here is the contrast in buildings. And THE BAD GRASS!!! You have the background which is technology and all shiny (some of it) and then the badly made houses behind that car. This is when new meets illegal construction and a hack slash job old.

This building is where I live. This is a very mild look into what TW is really like, it's a lot more hectic to be honest, these shots are really really calming and shows the country life.

Yea!!! This is country comparatively

Waiting for that day

We all wait for that day
The day where we walk outside
And we see the world
Peaceful.

We all wait for that day
The day where we wake up
And see our partner sleeping
Silently.

We all wait for that day
The day where we look in the mirror
And we see ourselves
Happy.

And yes, it is what you think it is

Degrees of "Pretty-ness"

Laying in my bed, hoping to fall asleep for an early morning.... IMPOSSIBLE. Seeing as how i sleep 2 hours after this time anyway, and I've been sleeping in the car. Thoughts filled my mind, many thoughts regarding the "MegaBass tm" from my W801i, O M G. Tell you about that later heh.
A phrase occurred to me - "You're pretty, in the "I want you to hold me when I'm crying" kinda way." - strange? yea, tell me about it. Which now I'm posting a little entry about it.
Degrees of pretty-ness, don't think that's even close to a real word, BUT! I'd like to say that this falls under the "we're just friends" kinda thing that any two people of opposite sex (or same depending on your sexual orientation) come to in one stage, either at the beginning, or somewhere along the way.
So what does my phrase come under? I think it's the more than just friends category, except the crying bit - maybe just sad *ponders*.
There's also the, "You're pretty, in the "I wanna bang you" kinda way"
and, "You're pretty, "but you're just not my type" kinda way"
and then there's "HELL NO"
zing!

You know what I'd say to that

Cheers for me!

In case you have not checked your university exam results yet, which I doubt you have "forgotten" slash neglected to see just in case you think it can still change depending on the day outside and your current mood (like my sister believes). You should check it if you haven't done so already.

For me, a GPA of 7.00+ is still apparent, which means above a score of A-. HORRAY, I'm so relieved now that thats over, cause now i can move onto level 200 papers and maybe die? Get on with dying.

Final Tally
Cosc 121 A+
Cosc 122 A-
Chem 111 A-
Chem 112 A-
Math 115 A-
Math 231 B+

Computer Exhibition

The computer exhibition, not as well known as E3 but it's the TW version of it. This is a picture loaded blog post beware!!!!Just a sea of heads. Shows how unpacked it is. (forgot to take a picture of sardine ness!! Lasts for 9 days. Dec 1 - 9)

Forgot what they were advertising, something about a phone?

Slamming? Naw... average

Asian women, or more like TW showgirls

Have I seen you before? That's right, you're picture is next to the word "daaaang" in the dictionary

Yours must be "slamming"

She looks japanese? Maybe she is!!!

Here's the two hotties that were giving out AMD glaives, I missed out.God know!!

I have a Cannon Digital camera, pick me!!

Samsung, average showgirl like their products

Think it was something to do with printers

The exhibition was fun, if you're wondering why there are no pictures of what they're showing, you're obviously not a guy. Or you actually think that this is all about products.

Milk milk lemonade, around the corner, fudge is made ;)

White is totally the new black

Well... it's a bad photo really~~ but hey, just a nice easy show and tell.

The Sony Ericsson W810i - White model

7300 ntd == 300nzd

One day of fun!

Had a fun fun day in tw today, worthy of a blog post!
You must be thinking, hummm... worthy of a blog post? You post random shit all the time, so how is this even remotely valuable by comparison, you go on about strange things like poems, feelings and thoughts and... - lemme stop you there, i get the point, but just hear my day out.
Woke up in the morning at 11 (ha!) not much of a morning person. Slept in actually, to sound of tires bringing up water from the wet, moist (yes i totally did) concrete. It had been raining (duh). Got up and had brunch - flied lice!
Later on at around 2 (skipped the bit where i played viva pinata for a while) Me n me mum n dad (for those of you who can actually hear me say that congrats, i have you brainwashed - if you can't, you have luckily escaped my.... not so wrathful wrath).
N - E - WAY! Rode the train (only 20 twd - 25twd-1nzd) 3 stops, and then took a bus (12) to see the grand COMPUTER EXHIBITION! Well... lots of hotties on stages calling out what you have to scream to get prises, managed to get 1 hammer and some other little trinkets, too bad i couldn't get the AMD blow up glaive, totally bummed about that, and a mini octopus on a stick - also large and blown up. DAMN! But got some sexy smashing pictures.
Took the free bus back to the train station and took another ride to taipei central strain station, MASSIVE BUILDING with umm.... 4 underground streets (approx 1km maybe? filled with shops). Went above ground to see crowds of people, streets filled with food outlets and a major department store.
Went to see how much my new phone's gonna be, a wopping 7.3k (NOT NZD FOOLS) Sony Ericsson's W810i (sings justin's sexy back - just reminded me of sexy but it doesn't have a sexy back), what colour to choose from? Me is gonna go for the pure innocent white shell cus everyone else gets black and black is totally over rated in my opinion.
Another side quest to get some plastic stools and some cooking stuff and took the train back home, 25 bux.

Main quest - Architect association (completed)
500xp and 500 gold (real dollars)
Main quest - Go to computer exhibition (completed)
1,000 xp
Side quest - obtain as many possible trinkets as possible (obtained a few) (completed)
1 hammer, 3 sticks of air(don't ask), screen duster
Main quest - Buy Cell phone (Failed, return later to finish quest)
Side quest - Buy some plastic seats and cooking goods (completed)
200xp, 5 plastic seats, sets of chopsticks and plastic scraping thing for baking stuff!
Level up!

Education - The Masters

Something about our society keeps on popping up in my dad's conversations that he has with his friends (cause he drags me along anyway) - Education!
Well... you may be thinking, "pffft, education, there's heaps of stuff wrong with it" And you are RIGHT! I mean... not to buy into my dad's propaganda (cause subliminally i listen to him and give his opinions an extra bonus rating, a boost in "general sense") Speaking from a person who's been "propaganda-ed" here's what I have to say. (more like what he has to say)

It's about the level of educated people out there, this may not apply anywhere else in the world, but it does apply here in TW. People here, A LOT OF PEOPLE have masters and PHDs here, AMAZING AMOUNT OF PEOPLE, but here's a funny true story:
One of his friend recently hired a post-grad master's to do some copying of some building blueprints. And seeing as how some blue prints have folds in them, he copied the folds!!!! I mean... actually thought they were part of the building, a line down the middle of a perfectly well designed building. True true story.
So what I'm saying is that, education like this is overated here in TW, i'm so glad my folks took me out of TW so early so my university education will not be questioned in any other country.

More on education later

On the floor

We here in taiwan use a very newly made system of living. It's called the floor storage system

The bed is on the floor
Microwave is also on the floor
Oven is also on the floor
Rice cooker is ON THE FLOOR
Even the TV is on the floor

The city

Just walking around outside and shopping for some at home while nobody's looking pants (possible gym pants) and wandered around a market place, kinda like really tiny streets with stalls on both sides and lots of stuff on sale.
It's raining today and as i walked around, i see a lot of potential for photog shots, very very good contrast of colours and themes in general.
Such as new building vs old buildings.
Actually, that's the only example i can really give, seeing as how it's a city built strangely.
Will take camera out with me next time.

New Diggs for 90 days

Sup yos, just letting yous know that i'm not lost on an island somewhere. Saw one of my favourite phrases at chch airport, hilarious. Also saw Yinny :\ too bad her flight got pwned, something to do with a light aircraft accident or something. BOOM! Hopefully she made it safely to wells, Did NOT see reubo at the airport, by the time i did get there to aucks, gates for KL were closed :D
Fun fun fun! Spending time inside for 90 days :\
Will try to look for
-Hobo Gloves
-Large Fuzzy Dice
-anything ridiculously AWESOME

*ooo i see "emily the strange" bag*

Expressionless

Ever had one of those days/moments when you want to express yourself, but every single thing you attempt fails horribly? Or more realistically you don't perform this "attempt" (rephrased - you don't attempt) this emotion/feeling/thought?
Sometimes it's like almost sneezing but unable to, it's almost as frustrating as trying to achieve a "climax" and it's almost there and NO~! BAM!!! (or to the point, no bam) The frustration is beyond you and you just want to give up trying to do it. (please refrain from personal comments regarding this metaphor)

My advice, try anyway, use words or any means you can - which DOES NOT INCLUDE PHYSICAL HARM! (you know who you are).

Highs and Lows

How would you feel if you won the lottery of 10 million dollars and then your mum dies of a heart attack right on the scene?
What are you suppose to feel? Well... should feel bad cause of your mum, but are you even allowed to feel good about the money?
Out of respect, you wouldn't go around her wake and flash your cash - so to speak.
Terrible thought, but you'd be expected to do something strange.

Lazy

We are lazy? Nooo~~ But we do all that work and earn money - SO WE CAN BE LAZY! Ultimately, a person is boiled down to how much they can appreciate being lazy. Money is just the currency of which that can buy more laziness, which is what we really want. But! If you spend your entire life earning money and not spending any time being lazy, you're just denying yourself of your true objective in life.
But! You have to think ahead a few steps for the remainder of your life to BE lazy. Such as an education and a job. Thing we do to be more lazy, later on.

Still not convinced?
Why did man invent the wheel? To transport goods faster so more time to laze around.
Why did man invent the car? Same thing as above.
Why did man invent a calculator? Saves time so you can be more lazy!
You can argue productivity which leads to more money and more money TO BE LAZY~~
*YAWN!*
Sleep time?

Being true to yourself

When is a good time to be true to yourself and the way you feel on the inside?
When is a good time to save yourself from yourself?
Time to time, we all feel the urge to slap our bosses, our friends, or even tell someone what they don't want to hear. But, we are reminded of the possible fallout options, hummmmm so you take the easy route, to not act on what you believe in. Such actions are looked as unfavourable, cowardly, or even self destructive (as a therapist would suggest). Holding your own feelings so you can "live another day" can do unseen damage, like bread crumbs dropped on the floor left for an infestation of ants. Or, the commonly used bottled fury example.

Is it simply better just to express your feelings openly rather than holding onto it tightly? Some might believe that if it would hurt you in the long run, you will have to grip on tightly, if it's not too hurtful, (to yourself or another) you should act upon it. It's a common rule of generosity that lives within us that keeps us from telling hurtful things to ourselves and otherwise.

Sometimes these moments aren't so clear, to tell them? Or to sit on it? I wish there weren't such a personality built into people.

Procrastination

We all do it, it's something to pass the unwanted time

Difficulty curve of education

Well! In case you haven't noticed (i'm pretty sure you HAVE!) You've been saying to your younger colleagues (or them turds), "Last year!!? pffft! last year was piss easy. THIS year is hard!"
And you say to your peers, "This is totally hard" and then your older, hopefully more educated friends say, "HA! That stuff is a cake walk! What I'm doing now is hard!"

Which in a way is kinda funny cause whatever you do, you'll find it hard, and whatever you HAVE already done you find it easy. And this is called the Education Difficulty curve! (or whatever it's legitimate name is)
As you all are aware, this curve is called a curve! It is not a simple linear function (straight line for you nubs) It's more like a slightly skewed exponential curve.
Now! Extend that level of difficulty and project next year's value of difficulty! FUN!

Women and Crazy Eyes!!

Recently I watched "how i met your mother" a tv sitcom, HILARIOUS! They raised an issue that seemed very real.
CRAZY EYES!!!
Men can see into a woman's eyes and see whether or not they have "crazy eyes" or not. When you find someone that has crazy eyes, they might be good at sex or what not, but ultimately THEY WILL GO CRAZY!!!

Literally!!

Ever meet someone who literally uses the word literally incorrectly all the time? Here is an example of the word used incorrectly:
...and his brain literally exploded... and then he said (X) WRONG!!!
Here's one that's just disgusting:
My mouth literally ejaculated!

He's driving me insane! So what did I do? I literally put a bullet through his head by screaming at him - WRONG!!!
Literally is used when you ACTUALLY DID IT
Here's one that i think is wrong but sounds okay.
The room literally looked like a tornado came in and said hi!
Still... a little odd, suppose it can be used as a metaphor or something.

GAH!!! Why am i teaching freeking english!

Something "shiny"!

Ever find something "shiny" to the point you just have to bask in it's o-so-wonderful-shininess? *can't believe shininess is a word*
Well! You stare at it's shininess for like... EVER! And it's just so magnificent. SHINE!!!! Ness! I mean, honestly! It's like teh awesomes!!! But!!! You realise at some point that it's just shiny. Nothing else but all flash. And you're wasting time on it, so much time you could be wasting it on other stuff.

Escape

The smell of wet grass reminded her of home. It's been so long since she ran through the meadow. The warm summer breeze offers her hair a dance - so brisk, and short lived. She turned towards the wind, feeling every stroke of nature's gentle brush. She closed her eyes. With the aid of the wind, her soul escaped her body, running loose across a field of lavender. The smell flowed through her like a stream of melted snow invigorating. Someone was calling her name. Like poison, this voice crippled the lavender, tainted the smell and choked the wind.

Everything escaped her, the lavender faded away and replaced with the smell of printing chemicals. The warm summer breeze turns to stale cold conditioned air ripping her hair on the dance floor. She clenched her eyes as she did not want her eyes to feel the needles that the wind carried. A man walks past followed by an infectious smell. Hot coffee spilled and the nylon carpet screamed. The phone rang, the people yelled, the printer beeped, the man farts, and hair fell.

She watched the bird on the window sill - how nice it would be to completely oblivious to all this.
----------------------
Story a person working in the office and hating the job. Portrays a stressful environment and how nice it would be to find serenity and escape this living hell.

To the left

To the left, everything you don't want to deal with, you'll put it in a box and chuck it to the left.
If only it were that simple.

Falling

Cold. It's all he can feel. His hands, like a metal claw, grabs onto the ice pick. His feet, slowly making their way towards the top. He tries to breathe in air, but finds frosted needles. His lungs like the four seasons, summer soon followed by winter. His body detested him and vise versa. He curses silently - is this the end for him? Another stab into the sheet of ice with his foot, it's loose! He hangs for a moment. He looks down, the loose ice sheet free from it's siblings - falling into the dark clouds below. He has to live on! He readjusts himself into a safer position. He takes a breather. His eyes, heavy from lack of sleep, his muscles wept from the intensity. He reaches into is jacket - a picture of his family. A warm feeling comes through wave after wave - he feels stronger now. He pulls out the ice pick and stabs it in once more - somethings not right, the ice cracks. He falls.

His muscles flinched, they panicked at the thought of free fall. His bladder, at its limit. His eyes almost unable to stay in his eye sockets. His stomach rises up to his lungs. He screams as he descends. "This is surely the end," he says to himself, "Wife, kids, world, I wish I were kinder to you all." A ray of light pierces the thick dark fog that is the uncomfortable, empty bed. His screams stop, he has accepted his defeat. All he awaits now is death. He expected it to be shorter, but these last moments of his life seemed very long. What's this? A hand reaches through the dark fog. He strains himself to reach it. He is so close, just an inch away. Half an inch, quarter. Contact!

He opens his eyes to see he solid ice sheet sliding in front of him, is he soaring upwards? No. He looks left, a static image, right, the same. He regains some sensation in his metal claw, what's this? A tight grip. He looks up to see a friendly face, his saviour, smiling down at him.

Thanks friend.

Do not follow in the path of the fallen

How the fallen have taught us.
Learn from their mistakes,
Do things differently.
Mistakes are plentiful,
For yours to make.
A waste of a life,
To make mistakes already made,
Better to make unmade mistakes.
-------------
Just jibberish, but you should get the point.
If not
Point - listen to people who've made the mistake before and learn from their experience. As well as make your own new mistakes. Otherwise the learning process would be a lot harder.

The things we do

A lot about a person you can tell by the way they act, talk and even walk.
Why are some people difficult to talk to?
Why are some people so unwilling to change?
Why people want relationships but end them so fast before they start?
Why people make promises they can't keep?
Why people argue over nothing?
Why people do the things they do.
The answer is woven into their tapestry. Their whole life contributes to who they are. At least that's what I think. The theory goes, a set of twins, from a whore of a mother and a rapist of a father, were given to two different sets of parents. One, with a very good parenting skills, and the other deficient. The argument is that their genetics will guide them towards something terrible, maybe even a natural urge to spread their legs (if girls) or a deep desire for raping!!
Can parents and people effect us so much that our own genetic desires are suppressed and overcome? Or are who we are literally built into us from conception?

Right now, i have no idea where I'm going with this, but who knows. I might be thinking something else but a little harder to put mind onto the keyboard ;)

To bite and to hold

Sounds kinda vampiric doesn't it? Well... sorta. Came across a rather.... thought? Maybe fun for me, but could be any of the following to you : Strange, Kinky, disgusting, painful. Maybe some others.

What can i say? it's spring, and my natural biology is telling me to procreate. Think of it this way, a tiger knows how to pounce on a gazelle, it's like a, "pounce on that gazelle" gene. Either that or it's just boring atm, and no tv... yes... we all know what happened when TV was invented. Birth rates plummeted. It replaced the national adult's common pass time.

I'll start with a slight touch of the arm.... a whisper in the ear and a bite or two :D

wika wika booom boom!

Like on a gangsta rap C--D!! I'z totally loving dat shit from down at the crib yall! You know how I lovem dem shit from back home aight! Bring it to me aight?
What
THE
FUCK!!!
You know what i hate more and more every day. People who can't speak english correctly. Or speak it without correct grammar! It's OKAY!!! if they know they're not speaking correctly and always looking to improve. what's NOT OKAY!!! IS THEM TALKING a LOT!!! and always getting words wrong
The MOST COMMONLY USED WORD IS "la" instead of "the" or "deh" it's like.... "DO YOU WANT A MASSIVE RUBBER DILDO IN YOUR MOUTH!!!?" Man!!! Maybe you need to practise how to do a blow job!!! At least you'll learn how to use your GOD DAMN TONGUE in the blowing process!!!
And Second thing are those fucking gangster wanna be!! DUDE, you're not black!! You're just some fucked up kid who thinks he's cool. Stop being a fucking poser and make your own fuckin style. At least you get points for originality, you seem to be failing everything else in life, at least have some self respect and make your own style.
Third!!! Been reading some of that shitty Canta Magazine we have. PEOPLE NEED TO LEARN HOW TO RANT!!! In later years, I might just post up a tutorial class with a bunch of people to learn how to rant!! It'll be called "Rant 101" Along with "Convo 110 and 112" Where we learn how to start a conversation and keep the flow going!!! It'll be under the Arts degree or even the education degree. KIDS NEED TO KNOW HOW TO GET THEIR RANT THROUGH TO OTHERS!!!
I'm gonna go find someone to shove a dildo in!!!

Btw... I'm not angry, just feeling like i need to rant about something that's very every-day

The door

Just the other week I was very very excited jumping about and walking around at very fast speeds around the house. And SUDDENLY!!! I opened the door and we had a moment. I was like... "oh, dude... it's okay. It's okay, chill!!" and patted the door like I was comforting it.

HONESTLY! After it, I said to myself, "wtf was that about?" And still! I don't exactly know what it was about. Maybe i was trippin on acid of some sort. Which made me realise all these little moments we take for granted. Sometimes, you should really learn to value time differently. Sometimes you have to learn to appreciate what you have. A roof over your head. Warm blankets, a nice soft pillow, hot showers.

If you notice everything around in your life and learn their true values, you won't kill yourself. You'll be thankful. Either that, or go to a 3rd world country and stay there for a year. You'll probably either die, or be killed. AND if you do somehow survive, you'll learn to appreciate things like never before. LIKE TOILET PAPER!!

Every man has a dream, it's just whether or not it has spanks or not.

Everyone has their own dreams. At the age of 5, young little naive boyz want to be hot sexy male firemen!! Which some might become, and other will do the same thing - dance around poles and put out "fires" - if you know what i mean - and yes you should - cause i know you do~~

Some little boys have really simple dreams. Score max points at the arcade machine. Sad... but at least it's somewhat achievable. Then comes the korean proz gamers which 10 folds the current top score. And you've got yourself a hater of life :D

I have no idea where I'm going with this, so I'm just gonna stop here :D Just ponder this thought
Hot sexy muscular men dancing around a pole stripping with bright yellow and orange jackets on. AND A SAFETY HELMET!!! - OOO YEA!
Spankalicious! (i'm thinking about hawt sexy woman, instead of men. I know you're not!!)

Assumptions.

I've been taught never to assume anything. But I do it very very VERY often. I exercise my ability to assume all the time. I assume that the bus will arrive maybe in 4 min? I assume that people know how to walk on their two legs. I assume that if I give you a simple task, you'll do it.
Now...
If you're reading this, you would've already said "hahaha, AS IF!" and now i'm assuming that you're naming names of people who you can't trust to do simple things. Hold on for a few moments. Why not assume that they won't do the work? Woah!!! hold on there panny boy. People don't like a control freak!! But wait. If you do want a job done you gotta do it yourself right? Hummm....
All these sayings... and none of them can be applied. I'll talk about character development in a later post.

Bottom line is, you should never assume people to do their work. Maybe construct that bridge of yours a little over towards their side, just in case they don't live up to your expectations.

On a foot note. The recent poems are just what I've been pondering upon. May not exactly reflect directly, but I'm not weeping or anything. Not about to cut myself open. Putting words elegantly into a poem takes time and thought. Should give it a try sometime yourself.

Secrets

We all keep secrets,
Some written in ink,
Some written in bold,
Some written in blood,
or set in a mold.

We all keep secrets,
Some smaller than a mouse,
Some bigger than a house,
Some longer than a hose,
or short lived like a rose.

We all keep secrets,
Some about each other,
Some about our lover,
Some about ourselves,
no, most about ourselves.

Take me away

Every time you stand near me
You take my breath away,
Leaving me breathless.

Every time you talk to me
You take my words away,
Leaving me speechless.

Every time you look at me
You take away my sight away,
Leaving me blind.

Every time you touch me
You take my soul away,
Leaving me eternally bound to you.

10 things I miss about you

For your information, it's not directed at anyone, it's just the generic feeling!!! OKAY!!!? Any comments regarding certain someone will be axed!!! or... X-ed

There are things I can do, tell, feel, all of them I miss
I miss the way your hair smells...
I miss the way your skin feels against my lips...
I miss the way you hold me...
I miss the way you make that sound when you think...
I miss the way you walk...
I miss the way you whisper into my ear...
I miss the way you fight for your beliefs...
I miss the way you look at me...
I miss the way you surprise me every time...
I miss the way you....
Heh, I just miss you.

Internal bleeding

When your heart, soul and mind disagree with one another, you will begin to bleed. Whether it be fast, or very very slow. Your heart will pump poison. Your brain will play the master. Your soul begins to burn. The damage continues... it could be a silent war, it can last for eternity. But that bleeding will continue without you knowing.

Internal struggles, we all have them, whether we chose to agree, find common ground, or fight. The amount of bloodshed varies.

Peace is hard to come by, find the insurgency and crush it before you bleed to death.

Honestly!!? Honesty!!?

Picture a bunch of girls discussing about how they would just enjoy a little honesty at the bar sometimes... like guys should just come up to them and lay things down and show them their true intentions!!

Later on in the night, the same group of girls sit around and order drinks and then head off towards the dance floor. A few guys sitting down at a booth of the bar look around and it's time they went hunting. A guy sees what he likes, one of the remaining one at the bar, she looks so great to him. So, he goes up to her and says, "I'm interested, would you like to suck on my penis as I lick you out and then we have lots and lots of wild sex for a few hours before I head off for an early meeting in the morning?"

Obviously the guy gets slapped in the face. Now... question is... what.. the hell!!?

Hardo gay!!! Love this guy!!

More milk please

My Driveway

The sky is now clear, spring is already here and I'm breaking out my camera for a few shots. As I walked towards Allan's place, i saw this lovely carpet of petals mixed with grass. Looked at the tree and then said... Hummm... that would be pretty. Ran back home (green roofed one at the end with the car out front) grabbed my camera and took this shot. One's Photoshopped and the other isn't.

Obviously it's a little green slash dark.

Mmmmm Sky looks nice

The topic of my discussion.... Books you say?

Well... it has come to my attention that I!! Yes.. I!!! Seldom flip open a fiction book. Now.... is this an issue? According to my primary teachers........ "Books are our friends" and according to Shorty from Scary Movie 2, "I've learned the value of books!!! Free paper!!" followed by a hideous laughter.

Well... Books have never been my daily entertainment. It's more of a chore I have to do. Especially for highschool. BOOK REPORTS!!! Man.. oh man! Made me feel like a kid to write up 200 words of how I felt after reading the book... "I felt okay... could go for some BK... ummm... i mean.... because... Fred was a... umm.... orphan... with... no money!! Yea.. so no food and it made me feel lucky that we have food presented to us in such a manner. This did not impact me too much at the beginning to think about Fred as a poor orphan. But later on in the book when he was living on the streets and dealing with hardship... he died due to starvation. That also made me sad."

YEA!! I don't even remember reading a book about a boring character name Fred! HONESTLY! In our little group, we very very very rarely discuss about books. Some of my other friends says that I should read this and that cause in some way they think I'd actually seek it out. Humm... I do agree that books might be healthy for the mind, but I'm perfectly fine!!!! *gulps a cocktail of pills*

Lack of posts?

Well.. recently, nothing big has been happening. Not enough to make a post about it. but SINCE PEOPLE ARE ASKING QUESTIONS. I'll post one just for the sake of their entertainment!

We all know that exams are a few weeks away (3 weeks + 3 weeks = 6 weeks) *yay* So... I'm sorta sitting around home... watching a few things here and there... and then doing a little bit of reading... here and there. And BAM!!! Nothing big happens.

Maybe it's just this sleepy shit hole town... but I'm not getting any action!!! by action, i mean any activities in general, not that I go out every friday night either :( Maybe THAT'S WHY!! But that's beside the point. Totally need to get my restricted. grrrr!!! That way i can drive to wherever and wherever!! And be with nobody lol. As far as Daddy knows :D

The lack of posts generally come from lack of interesting things to post about. Except that I managed to get Bioshock working today, i feel good now that i can start killing little sisters!!! MUAHAHAAAAA.... Mmmmm... ADAM!!! (it's a substance in the game, not an actual person)

More Upgrades perhaps?

Humm.... sitting around at home... and doing some surfing! FOUND THE BEST CSS EVER!!! It's like photoshop this CSS and I analysed it and now I'm contemplating on what I might upgrade this page with? maybe more of this spirally crap? MAY BE!!! May... BEE!!! *OHHH BEE!!*

Was also thinking of doing multiple css and post the pics up on the site... and see which one is more loved :D

More updates soooooon!!! When i decide on the design first...

Obviously I'm not gay!

Fashion Survey!
A slighty modified version by Panny!
:Basics:
Name: Yen-Sheng
Age: 19 this year. 2007
Location: Christchurch

:Favourites:
Store: None
Designers: None
Place to go shopping: None
Brand Names: Don't care
Colour to wear : Blue
Item of clothing you own: Polo shirts, shirts, polar fleece.
Type of jeans : Nice ones that i have room in
Type of tops: Long sleeve shirts with them rolled up :D
Type of shoes: Sport shoes.. maybe casual if i get one
Clothing on opposite sex: Office is sexy ;)
Type of accessories: None

:Misc:
What would you never be caught dead in? Men thong with the elephant trunk in front
How many clothes in your wardrobe? Who knows... prob around 13?
What was the last item of clothing you bought? Nice blue jacket
If you owned your own fashion label, what would it be called? Panny
Which celeb's style would you love to steal? I am a celeb! My own!
Do you follow trends? I make my own trend BIACH!
Whats "in" in your area at the moment? what's out?
What colour is a NO for you? Yellow

:VS:
Short skirts or long skirts? Long~~ More is less
Jeans or corduroys? Jeans
Hats or sunglasses? Sunglasses
Tight jeans or baggy jeans? Neither
Bright colours or dark colours? dark
Skinny belts or wide belts? wide + skinny / 2

:Right now:
Wearing: Black laced thong
In your bag: Folders... blacked laced thong... phone battery, umbrella
Saving up for: TABLET!!!!
Wishing for: this year to end WELL

:That you own:
Favourite shirt: That white one with the stripes
Favourite jeans: Recently bought one, i don't do brands!!!
Favourite shoes: My Yvonex (sp)
Favourite dress: I don't have one... I like them all!!
Favourite belt: I only have one
Favourite hat: I don't do hats
Favourite piece of underwear: The black laced thong HAW HAW!

Gaming is a sport!!!

Dude... My hand.... or more like my right index shooting finger!!!! Man!!! Who ever said gaming was NOT a sport. THAT PERSON IS WRONG!!!! Like.... Hell yes wrong.
Why you say? Well!! After not gaming for about 1 month now~~ and then suddenly playing it for several hours straight my shooting finger or... selecting finger (index finger) started to feel pain!!! At first, it was just spasms... but i think it requires some medical attention *sif*
Well.... it's alright now~~ if i don't use it too much... not like i'm gonna be using it for any other purposes anytime soon since i'm... a guy... who has... *sigh* ANYWAY! If you can gain injury from it! I say it's a sport!
Plus, people get paid now to play games PROFESSIONALLY! crazy world we live in!

A-Cid Burn!

Acid burn!!!! (well yea... good old.. concentrated sulphuric acid + concentrated Nitric acid! MMM extra fun)

In other words... I've got nothing to report todae.Feel that pain!!!

Wasn't that painful really~~ Just like any other burn. and yes! it is yellow

Mr. I-think-pan-is-emo!

JAS 35C Gripen Pilot raised an interesting point (comment) he said "Whats with all the weird poems of late?"
Well mr... Gripen Pilot... whatever that is...
I do not know! Maybe I'm just more connected to english than I originally thought/intended to. Maybe... maybe... It's my way of saying something to someone... Maybe.. it's my way of expressing hundred word posts in 20 words. Maybe.... I JUST FEEL LIKE WRITING POEMS... Naw.. can't be the last case. Must be something going on - says you, who reads this. *nods* and says... "He's emo!"
Well I'll tell you mr. I-think-pan-is-emo! You might be right... or mr. I-think-pan-is-emo is just afriad to admit that he is an emo! (wait that doesn't work) But anyway! I'm not gonna go buy some razor blades from the shop and start cutting myself anytime soon. Cause it's just so expensive!!! heh.
"Just a little more in touch with myself than you~~"

Poetry is just complicated maths

Calculation Error
When things don't add up,
It becomes a calculation error.
There is only so much one can equate,
So much one can differentiate ,
So much one can underestimate,
So much one can modulate....
There will always be calculation errors.

There is Math in me
My thoughts may wander
scatter...
deviate....
Your words can swirl
circulate...
oscillate...
My love may move...
shift...
invert...
But it wont ~~

Indeed. Spring is here

Went to hagley park today :D Nice hawt sexy sunbathers around... And lots of lots of KIDS!!! Except they weren't very interesting to take photos of and i'd look like a complete stalker :S (and i totally am)

One of my favs... Check out that sparkle-age

We sit here in the fields of green. Pride of the Daffodils

More sakura. But this one's got a nice cool background to it.

My relationship with....

My relationship with her is slowly fading away...
We don't talk much anymore...
Nor do we see eye to eye
I don't play with her as much anymore
She knows...
I know...
She cries...
I die a little....
We're great friends... but I might have to work with her in the future...
A professional relationship I strife for
But she wants more intimacy.
Her name...
Games

I sit on the beach

I sit on the beach....
Sitting....
Is it all I do?
The hunger doesn't stop...
it's a different kind of hunger...
I sit on the beach....
Sitting....
It is all I do.

The seals we all have

The seals we all have...

Every body has several seals in their minds... switches if you must. On... off... on... off..... forever off.
Some are just as simple as putting things aside to deal with later... off....
Some are as complexed as suppressed childhood memories... off....
But sometimes... when the off suddenly turns back on... it brings pain and realisation. Rarely it is pleasant. Why do we intentionally set ourselves up to hurt later?

"I'd like to tell you the truth... but I know deep down it won't be, because I know... that I am still yet unsure..."

What is up with that?

Regarding the poem "Why..."
Hummm... sat and read that like three times and started to felt kinda emotional. What the hell!!!? Those are the words that went through my head as I started to feel a little sad on the inside.

For those of you who do not know the underlaying meaning behind it. I'll shed some light
First of all. Have you highlighted the entire poem?
Second of all. It is NOT copied from anywhere (that i know of - cause i constructed it manually)
Third of all. I was not in a depressed state of mind or had anything on my mind when I began to write this, so I am thereby NOT CUTTING MYSELF OR ANYTHING. I just started with a "Why..." and it just went on.

Here we go
The point to this poem is that it shows a typical relationship. Basically it's about a relationship that dies because of one thing, communication. Very important. Why is it blacked out? The white part indicates the - one sided-ness of the relationship. When the black part is revealed, it shows the other part of the relationship that was not communicated across (hence the "fade out"). The "chorus" is just there as a divider and a time skip of the relationship.
The second part is the destabilization of the relationship, where one side is confused about what the other side wants.
Third part shows complete destruction and separation of the relationship, it's portrayed by just a massive amount of questions and confusion from both sides. And then they break up. But still... one side still loves on.

Why...

Why must you...

Why must you walk up to me?

To talk to you

Why must you say hi to me?

To flirt with you

Why must you flirt with me?

To lead you on

Why must you lead me on?

To like you

Why must you like me?

Because I do

Why must you hold my hands?

To feel your hands

Why must you kiss me?

To feel your lips

Why must you touch me?

To feel your skin

Why must you spend time with me?

To learn about you

Why must you love me?

Because I do

Why?
Why oh why?

Why must you not spend time with me?

Because I want you to spend time with me

Why must you not look at me?

Because I want you to look at me

Why must you not comfort me?

Because I want you to comfort me

Why must you not hold me?

Because I want you to hold me

Why must you not talk to me?

Because I want you to talk to me

Why must you not sweet talk me?

Because I want you to sweet talk me

Why?
Why oh why?

Why must you confuse me?

Why must you confuse me?

Why must you mislead me?

Why must you mislead me?

Why must you lie to me?

Why must you lie to me?

Why must you yell at me?

Why must you yell at me?

Why must you reject me?

Why must you reject me?

Why must you hate me?

Why must you hate me?

Why must you leave me?

Why must you leave me?

Why?

Why oh why?

Because I love you too much~~

Pushing on!

Everyone must push on if they want to get home.

As my legs were giving out, the pain became a hindrance. I said to myself... push on. After the grass there will be something more beyond it.

The blades of grass cut and tear away

Soon... the sun was here, but only to emphasize the naked trees

They were ugly... Their branches hurt a lot worse than the blades of grass.I kept on walking resisting the pain. But the twigs were now covered in a nice sheet of cherry blossom, like the red carpet, it guided the way home.

Thank you cheery blossoms. I'm home now.
There's always something beautiful around the corner

Don't give up

Nice and easy now

Well.... don't you love those days where you can mellow out completely? Like... lay on the grass outside under the tree for several hours and sleep. Humm... reminds me of good old days in summer in year 11(end).
Everything seemed to just fly away. The troubles, the pressure, everything! Fly away. Wish I'd get more days like that. Instead I have to go to bloody Taiwan and enjoy the cold some more :(
Hope we can go do the nelson trip successfully and just lay down by the beach/river/grass and chill till we're at absolute zero. And we look up to see the birds in the sky and say, "Wow... wonder where they're going.. WHO CARES!!!"

We could all use a little bit of "off" time. I'd like to think I'm only working at 30% of Max Capacity this year. Hopefully that Max Capacity doesn't decrease. Next year will be great :D (!)

Just a very chilled out post. No aim in this post except to draw a picture of relaxation. Something for you to look forward to. Someday, somewhere over the rainbow~~

Last post about the day at the beach

Last few shots I'm gonna blog about. The rest should be on my Bebo under the photos section :D

Day at the beach was fun. Look forward to more shots sometime in the future

The peer glows with sunshine

Allan's loving japan. HEHE it's me taking a picture of him taking a picture :o

Bill the seagull stares watches us some more

Christchurch's evening sky.

Little at a time

Too much is too much. Captured around 50 photos from the day at the beach :D, only 40 are kept, i think~~ But that's not the point of this post. It's about spacing them out. Telling a story of a girl who cried a river and drowned the whole world, and that's why we have the ocean.

Coast guard keeping a look out for any visitors.

Sun only. Allan taught me how to capture the sun. First few images. Love how the water shimmers

More starburst effect through the glass and pillars. Showing how nature triumphs over our man made things.

Again with the shadows! BY GOD! Love how Jo casted a very nice long shadow.

Day at the beach

The day started like any other day, with a kick in the nuts from the alarm clock. But today... was beach day. It all started going to Von's

Vinny's is totally dodgey now that he's showing more skin ;) Look at that sinister grin on his face

Scared, they scatter into the wind

Old Bill here (seagull in the pic) likes to take long flights around the beach, occasional visits inland. He's not too territorial and is single ;)

The wet sand made a perfect reflection. Slightly twisted with impurities which makes it so pure