We simply don't care

Sitting at home, completely unaware of the growing explosive tumor in my brain that is a ticking time bomb. Which is one possibility of my demise, yours too. But we carry on with our lives as it were normal, unknowingly making arrangements that we will not be able to attend to, making promises that we can not keep. Because you're dead and all~~ No grudges can be held there - I hope.
The question that comes up often in our lives as we receive bad news that we can not do anything about. Is it really worth knowing if you can not do a damn about it? War in some middle eastern place that we can't do anything about. Brain tumor that's growing inside citizen A's head that will explode in 10 seconds from now? Unconsciously we make the choice not to care deeply about these people who are not directly connected to us.
I'm not saying we should shed a thousand tears for each individual that passes away. In contrast to not giving a damn about your dying parents. I'm simply raising the issue to the fact that us being human beings do not care much about others that we can not feel the effects of. Sadly but true, we do not give a damn about something that does not affect directly.
A sad and true fact.

Simplify your life!!

As we mature and age, we develop a need for complexity. Where there is none or little, we make it complicated and sophisticated for no apparent reason what so ever. Or is there an underlaying desire to be smarter and more clever than other people? We thrive on complexity, from our languages, to our technology and most importantly, our relationships with people. Why is it that we enjoy enduring complicated relationships with people we love? If you see it from one perspective, we enjoy being miserable. If you see it from another, we think too much about things. Wish we could all just enjoy what we have, who we have, for all their worth.
If it's complicated, simplify!

Eye of the Beholder

Note: Re-reading my blog title and decided, hummm just been ranting and talking about random stuff, not actually letting you relax and let me do the thinking. Haven't been doing that. Not very thoughtful during the past few days, but however, here's something interesting.

Ever just wonder, what makes other's see different things? We both have brains, but why do they get something I don't and vise versa? It's a simple common sense, or at least, that's what you think. Here's a strange example : a person may see the world in a different colour than your own. If you were to receive the same information from their eye into your brain, you might be seeing the colour red instead of green, but strangely, you disagree with him/her on whether it's red or green. They say it's green, but to you, it should be green but it's red.
What they see is red, but call it green.
Have you ever thought about that?

If you have, I congratulate you on self exploration. If you haven't, I hope you're not confused.

Harmful Truths

Hiding the truth from the people you love may seem like a good idea every way you look at it. That is.... in favour for you! It's the victims that gets the shorter end of the stick no matter what. It's a lose lose situation for the one being sheilded from the truth. Every time, when the truth does come out, he/she would usually say that they would've rather known the truth, but is that true? If you did tell them, they'd probably shut you down, and it may make the friendship tare.

Is it better to say harmful things if it's the truth? Or is it better to say nothing and still be harmful?

What kind of person are you?

Moral issues

Just sitting at home watching the news on tv. It's so sad! All depressing, very very depressing.
But that's not what this post is about, I'm not too concerned about the depressing news that's on tv, just the moral ethical issues behind the news.

People making fake mushrooms (buying shitty ones and carving them and sculpting them to pass off as a high hard to make mushroom)
Making drugs more appealing to younger people by putting them in a hello kitty bag.
People selling fake alcohol (methanol) which makes you blind.
Fake eggs that can cause Alzheimer's.
Highly cancerous products being released onto the market.
Massive money laundering done by our political figures

But to make things worse
There are millions suffering from malnutrition in tw and then there are even more people buying highly expensive products from big expensive brands.
Scam artists that "claim" they are the banks and then siphon our your money (if you follow their commands)

Not only are we stupid! We're just brainless. An organisation known as "scientology" believes that we were brought here by the all mighty XENU - of the galactic federation - dictator!!! From small scale ships similar to the DC-7 (or another model or a large airplane) to planet earth and then nuked with H-Bombs (that's when i stopped reading cause i was on the floor dying of laughter) and then to raise in the "organisation's" ranks, you have to give all your life savings and then the very top "masters" will share with you advanced alien technology.

Tom Cruise, I have lost all respect for you.
Humans are stupid! VERY VERY STUPID! And highly selfish. Hope you know that now with proof

You've only got your word

Some of you may know that all a person really has to offer is Trust, and therefor what they say.
Personally I hate people who can't keep their word, even in the little things. And just because you have an excuse, it doesn't make it alright.
In this world, we've only got each other, each other's word and which translates to trust. Can you trust the people around you? Can you trust them to keep their word no matter how small of a task? I certainly hope we all have people we can trust.

If all else fails, you can always trust them to be untrustworthy.
And if you often don't keep to your word, don't offer it.

Forget

Do know the difference between things you should forget, and things you should remember forever. Also note the slight difference between things you will forget and things you can not forget.
Sometimes there are moments of your life that will shape the course of your life: Meeting someone different, having a child, losing a loved one, held to at gunpoint. There are happy sugar coated memories that will turn your brain into candy floss, and then there are the deep foul stench of others that will pollute your brain and thus you.
Sometimes things are better left forgotten, but do not forget it all, remember what was important out of this failure, this way you should not do the same thing, or at least recognise it.
Sometimes things are so sweet the whole scene becomes hazy and you lose it, but you still remember the feeling of joy, at least the main parts.

I realise that this post doesn't exactly have an ordered structure and real point to it, but it's just some food for thought, sometimes we need to be reminded, to jog our memories so we don't forget. (that part did make sense right? - i forget)

The seals we all have

The seals we all have...

Every body has several seals in their minds... switches if you must. On... off... on... off..... forever off.
Some are just as simple as putting things aside to deal with later... off....
Some are as complexed as suppressed childhood memories... off....
But sometimes... when the off suddenly turns back on... it brings pain and realisation. Rarely it is pleasant. Why do we intentionally set ourselves up to hurt later?

"I'd like to tell you the truth... but I know deep down it won't be, because I know... that I am still yet unsure..."

High Definition

Everyone has their own group photo. With them being in the center of it, and people that they are close to around them, and so on. From your parents, extended families, to your friends, your co-workers... all in this massive group photo. But it's not the amount of people you know that matters the most in this photo shoot. It's about definition.

What does it mean to be defined? A picture can be a blur, or it could be sharp. It's basically how much you know about them. The more you know about them, the more colour they will have, the more defined they will be.

What will your group photo be? A massive blur, or in high definition. It's up to you.

With a cipher

Everyone has their own cipher and sometimes you will come across someone with a similar ciphers as yourself. Those people are somewhat special in terms of who you are.
What is a cipher in this context? It's essentially a key to who they are. A key to read into them much deeper than the usual person. You can get passed a cipher, or you can make your own, although making your own requires self skill and maybe a little bit of help. Usually you're better off asking them.

Some people even use these ciphers as a test to see how worthy their opponent is. The truly worthy will see them for who they are, the others see them in a different light.

But what good is a cipher if nobody can read it?

Serendipity

Once in our lifetimes, we come across someone that is completely right for us. By chance, completely and utterly right for us. What separates us all is whether you grab it and hold onto it or not.

Serendipity

-Something good that happened accidentally.

After watching the movie, I almost cried. Such a romantic movie. Would've really got pissed off if they never did find each other though, I would have hated that movie completely. Good thing is... they found each other in the end, totally by coincidence.

If you sense that you have someone that is so special to you, totally, completely, utterly good for you. You should grab it and hold on tight.

Never let it go~~

Feelings we once had

Feelings... whether they are good or bad you should treasure them. Get what i mean? Good feelings to aim for, and bad feelings to reflect upon. But you must never forget that there is light at the end of the tunnel. If you have more bad feelings than good, you may waver from the light.

Engulfed by darkness your heart shall grow heavy
Until you are no more
Swallowed whole by the pain
Swallowed whole by the sorrow
Swallowed whole
For a life time.
Beyond the pain and sorrow, there is no more but happiness.

- A verse from the heart.

The future me....

I know I know... as you begin to read this... you might think that this is another one of my random "what if" posts that i have in the other blog. But this one's a little bit more personal. Oh no~ don't you turn away from me!! It's not one of those "oh man... I'm gonna grow old and die" emotional posts slash hate slash bitching rant.

Walking home at night watching the stars shine and glitter in the night sky... I stopped for a while and ponder what they are going to be like in the next few years... are they gonna be remembered? are they going to still exist? Who knows...

I began to look into my own inner star (ha ha, i know cliche) What am I gonna be like in the next few years? or even ten years from now? Will... The Pan (what I am! Total self confidence there) no longer be The Pan? Or will The Pan change into a different type of The Pan? (totally overkill) With the current projections I could only get more wild, more opinionated, and funnier. Maybe a little smarter, havn't exactly been hitting the books now... oh wait. Hitting books hurts my head... they give me bruises *smack on the book with head*

The other question also arises, do I want to change in the next ten years? The answer to my question I searched for about 0.5 seconds. The answer is NO! and then followed 2 seconds later with a maybe... then another NO! then maybe.... and then.... maybe again. Cause i'm not exactly Mr. Awesum dood guy yet. So.... I'll work towards that.

You should all take time and think about your life so far... See how you can see yourself in the future.

<3 to <3

A little <3 to <3 conversation is required in life. At least once in a while, serious issues are discussed that are normally never even glanced upon in normal conversation. These heart to heart conversations usually involve deep and dark secrets and a lot of advice and life experiences.

As to why a little <3 2 <3 is important? Because someone else can hear about your troubles, share their own experiences and give advice about it. The load of holding it in becomes less of a burden.

As to who? Everyone is eligible for the job. Usually your best mates. Some might even consider your partner in life. It may seem a good idea, but sometimes there are things you need to shield your partner from, like THEMSELVES. Some things are suppose to be dealt with with an indirect route. In my experience, girls are much more eligible than guys. For a few guys to gather and talk about their feelings is.... considered "un-manly" by modern society at the moment. But it's more or less declining. So men! get ready to open yourselves up to other men! (hehehhe)

Everyone needs a <3 2 <3 person they can talk to. If you don't, you should start putting more faith into your friends. Tell them more about yourselves. Those who reject you are not your true friends.

Thriller!!! and Sharpen your blades

It's a thriller!!! The roller coaster we go through in life. But today! I've ridden a coaster so awesome, I smile even when I'm depressed. It's soooooo awesome that I feel like i'm on prozac (not that i'd know).

It's like the first time you plant your lips on someone else's. The feeling of two lips conjoined I believe to be better than sex! Well... First kiss vs first sexual encounter... I'd say the kiss was a lot more impressive.

I think i'm gonna be so high for the next month! OH RIGHT.

On other news.
Never go into a knife fight without sharpening your blade first. It's an analogy that I've made up for your to ponder on. A dull blade can't last very long in a fierce knife slashing contest. Slashing will also be a problem as a dull blade does not cut. Analogy requires you to read between the lines and what is true and what is not. A war we must all partake in sometime in life.

Very first time

For those of you who have yet to experience sex (probably only a few now) I'll actually share some wisdom for a change. And for those who know what I'm talking about. Don't worry you're not the only ones

To love brings you close to hate. Once the love is broken, the backlash is hate. Then its back to a strange feeling of euphoria. Why.... why why? I'd like to think it's because of chemical reactions tricking your brain into thinking you truly love them. It's a terrible feeling to lose a loved one. Especially one you've been very intimate with. That sort of intimacy is the key to this undesirable effect. The crying, tears and the "what ifs" arise. Some have different reactions to the shock. Most just have a cry.

The problem really comes when they don't see the light anymore, what's the point without him/her, what have I got to live for now that he/she has left me. The light of a relationship grows dim, and more dim. Engulfed in darkness, sulking. Some take the easy way out of life. Death. Some take a more gradual curve - depression - then move on with their lives so so. But what's most important is you must remember, "the surroundings isn't getting darker, it's you who refuse to see the light."

Having breakup sex (all the time) doesn't exactly help with the problem, you're gonna dig yourself a terrible grave. *Tear x 100*
Staying in close contact but not sex is a bad thing also, everyone needs to go back and lick their wounds before entering the battlefield we call love. *Tear x 20*
Distance from him/her is a better choice than the two above. Stop doing stuff with them, it will tax you harder than you might think. Hang with friends. *Tear* After a few weeks - months, you should seek closure, it's often the best thing to do. Learn from the mistakes you've made. And part ways.

Later on, maybe after a few months still, if you still have some feelings, I guess it's natural, after all, he/she was your first.