The topic of my discussion.... Books you say?

Well... it has come to my attention that I!! Yes.. I!!! Seldom flip open a fiction book. Now.... is this an issue? According to my primary teachers........ "Books are our friends" and according to Shorty from Scary Movie 2, "I've learned the value of books!!! Free paper!!" followed by a hideous laughter.

Well... Books have never been my daily entertainment. It's more of a chore I have to do. Especially for highschool. BOOK REPORTS!!! Man.. oh man! Made me feel like a kid to write up 200 words of how I felt after reading the book... "I felt okay... could go for some BK... ummm... i mean.... because... Fred was a... umm.... orphan... with... no money!! Yea.. so no food and it made me feel lucky that we have food presented to us in such a manner. This did not impact me too much at the beginning to think about Fred as a poor orphan. But later on in the book when he was living on the streets and dealing with hardship... he died due to starvation. That also made me sad."

YEA!! I don't even remember reading a book about a boring character name Fred! HONESTLY! In our little group, we very very very rarely discuss about books. Some of my other friends says that I should read this and that cause in some way they think I'd actually seek it out. Humm... I do agree that books might be healthy for the mind, but I'm perfectly fine!!!! *gulps a cocktail of pills*

Lack of posts?

Well.. recently, nothing big has been happening. Not enough to make a post about it. but SINCE PEOPLE ARE ASKING QUESTIONS. I'll post one just for the sake of their entertainment!

We all know that exams are a few weeks away (3 weeks + 3 weeks = 6 weeks) *yay* So... I'm sorta sitting around home... watching a few things here and there... and then doing a little bit of reading... here and there. And BAM!!! Nothing big happens.

Maybe it's just this sleepy shit hole town... but I'm not getting any action!!! by action, i mean any activities in general, not that I go out every friday night either :( Maybe THAT'S WHY!! But that's beside the point. Totally need to get my restricted. grrrr!!! That way i can drive to wherever and wherever!! And be with nobody lol. As far as Daddy knows :D

The lack of posts generally come from lack of interesting things to post about. Except that I managed to get Bioshock working today, i feel good now that i can start killing little sisters!!! MUAHAHAAAAA.... Mmmmm... ADAM!!! (it's a substance in the game, not an actual person)

More Upgrades perhaps?

Humm.... sitting around at home... and doing some surfing! FOUND THE BEST CSS EVER!!! It's like photoshop this CSS and I analysed it and now I'm contemplating on what I might upgrade this page with? maybe more of this spirally crap? MAY BE!!! May... BEE!!! *OHHH BEE!!*

Was also thinking of doing multiple css and post the pics up on the site... and see which one is more loved :D

More updates soooooon!!! When i decide on the design first...

Obviously I'm not gay!

Fashion Survey!
A slighty modified version by Panny!
:Basics:
Name: Yen-Sheng
Age: 19 this year. 2007
Location: Christchurch

:Favourites:
Store: None
Designers: None
Place to go shopping: None
Brand Names: Don't care
Colour to wear : Blue
Item of clothing you own: Polo shirts, shirts, polar fleece.
Type of jeans : Nice ones that i have room in
Type of tops: Long sleeve shirts with them rolled up :D
Type of shoes: Sport shoes.. maybe casual if i get one
Clothing on opposite sex: Office is sexy ;)
Type of accessories: None

:Misc:
What would you never be caught dead in? Men thong with the elephant trunk in front
How many clothes in your wardrobe? Who knows... prob around 13?
What was the last item of clothing you bought? Nice blue jacket
If you owned your own fashion label, what would it be called? Panny
Which celeb's style would you love to steal? I am a celeb! My own!
Do you follow trends? I make my own trend BIACH!
Whats "in" in your area at the moment? what's out?
What colour is a NO for you? Yellow

:VS:
Short skirts or long skirts? Long~~ More is less
Jeans or corduroys? Jeans
Hats or sunglasses? Sunglasses
Tight jeans or baggy jeans? Neither
Bright colours or dark colours? dark
Skinny belts or wide belts? wide + skinny / 2

:Right now:
Wearing: Black laced thong
In your bag: Folders... blacked laced thong... phone battery, umbrella
Saving up for: TABLET!!!!
Wishing for: this year to end WELL

:That you own:
Favourite shirt: That white one with the stripes
Favourite jeans: Recently bought one, i don't do brands!!!
Favourite shoes: My Yvonex (sp)
Favourite dress: I don't have one... I like them all!!
Favourite belt: I only have one
Favourite hat: I don't do hats
Favourite piece of underwear: The black laced thong HAW HAW!

Gaming is a sport!!!

Dude... My hand.... or more like my right index shooting finger!!!! Man!!! Who ever said gaming was NOT a sport. THAT PERSON IS WRONG!!!! Like.... Hell yes wrong.
Why you say? Well!! After not gaming for about 1 month now~~ and then suddenly playing it for several hours straight my shooting finger or... selecting finger (index finger) started to feel pain!!! At first, it was just spasms... but i think it requires some medical attention *sif*
Well.... it's alright now~~ if i don't use it too much... not like i'm gonna be using it for any other purposes anytime soon since i'm... a guy... who has... *sigh* ANYWAY! If you can gain injury from it! I say it's a sport!
Plus, people get paid now to play games PROFESSIONALLY! crazy world we live in!

A-Cid Burn!

Acid burn!!!! (well yea... good old.. concentrated sulphuric acid + concentrated Nitric acid! MMM extra fun)

In other words... I've got nothing to report todae.Feel that pain!!!

Wasn't that painful really~~ Just like any other burn. and yes! it is yellow

Mr. I-think-pan-is-emo!

JAS 35C Gripen Pilot raised an interesting point (comment) he said "Whats with all the weird poems of late?"
Well mr... Gripen Pilot... whatever that is...
I do not know! Maybe I'm just more connected to english than I originally thought/intended to. Maybe... maybe... It's my way of saying something to someone... Maybe.. it's my way of expressing hundred word posts in 20 words. Maybe.... I JUST FEEL LIKE WRITING POEMS... Naw.. can't be the last case. Must be something going on - says you, who reads this. *nods* and says... "He's emo!"
Well I'll tell you mr. I-think-pan-is-emo! You might be right... or mr. I-think-pan-is-emo is just afriad to admit that he is an emo! (wait that doesn't work) But anyway! I'm not gonna go buy some razor blades from the shop and start cutting myself anytime soon. Cause it's just so expensive!!! heh.
"Just a little more in touch with myself than you~~"

Poetry is just complicated maths

Calculation Error
When things don't add up,
It becomes a calculation error.
There is only so much one can equate,
So much one can differentiate ,
So much one can underestimate,
So much one can modulate....
There will always be calculation errors.

There is Math in me
My thoughts may wander
scatter...
deviate....
Your words can swirl
circulate...
oscillate...
My love may move...
shift...
invert...
But it wont ~~

Indeed. Spring is here

Went to hagley park today :D Nice hawt sexy sunbathers around... And lots of lots of KIDS!!! Except they weren't very interesting to take photos of and i'd look like a complete stalker :S (and i totally am)

One of my favs... Check out that sparkle-age

We sit here in the fields of green. Pride of the Daffodils

More sakura. But this one's got a nice cool background to it.

My relationship with....

My relationship with her is slowly fading away...
We don't talk much anymore...
Nor do we see eye to eye
I don't play with her as much anymore
She knows...
I know...
She cries...
I die a little....
We're great friends... but I might have to work with her in the future...
A professional relationship I strife for
But she wants more intimacy.
Her name...
Games

I sit on the beach

I sit on the beach....
Sitting....
Is it all I do?
The hunger doesn't stop...
it's a different kind of hunger...
I sit on the beach....
Sitting....
It is all I do.

The seals we all have

The seals we all have...

Every body has several seals in their minds... switches if you must. On... off... on... off..... forever off.
Some are just as simple as putting things aside to deal with later... off....
Some are as complexed as suppressed childhood memories... off....
But sometimes... when the off suddenly turns back on... it brings pain and realisation. Rarely it is pleasant. Why do we intentionally set ourselves up to hurt later?

"I'd like to tell you the truth... but I know deep down it won't be, because I know... that I am still yet unsure..."

What is up with that?

Regarding the poem "Why..."
Hummm... sat and read that like three times and started to felt kinda emotional. What the hell!!!? Those are the words that went through my head as I started to feel a little sad on the inside.

For those of you who do not know the underlaying meaning behind it. I'll shed some light
First of all. Have you highlighted the entire poem?
Second of all. It is NOT copied from anywhere (that i know of - cause i constructed it manually)
Third of all. I was not in a depressed state of mind or had anything on my mind when I began to write this, so I am thereby NOT CUTTING MYSELF OR ANYTHING. I just started with a "Why..." and it just went on.

Here we go
The point to this poem is that it shows a typical relationship. Basically it's about a relationship that dies because of one thing, communication. Very important. Why is it blacked out? The white part indicates the - one sided-ness of the relationship. When the black part is revealed, it shows the other part of the relationship that was not communicated across (hence the "fade out"). The "chorus" is just there as a divider and a time skip of the relationship.
The second part is the destabilization of the relationship, where one side is confused about what the other side wants.
Third part shows complete destruction and separation of the relationship, it's portrayed by just a massive amount of questions and confusion from both sides. And then they break up. But still... one side still loves on.

Why...

Why must you...

Why must you walk up to me?

To talk to you

Why must you say hi to me?

To flirt with you

Why must you flirt with me?

To lead you on

Why must you lead me on?

To like you

Why must you like me?

Because I do

Why must you hold my hands?

To feel your hands

Why must you kiss me?

To feel your lips

Why must you touch me?

To feel your skin

Why must you spend time with me?

To learn about you

Why must you love me?

Because I do

Why?
Why oh why?

Why must you not spend time with me?

Because I want you to spend time with me

Why must you not look at me?

Because I want you to look at me

Why must you not comfort me?

Because I want you to comfort me

Why must you not hold me?

Because I want you to hold me

Why must you not talk to me?

Because I want you to talk to me

Why must you not sweet talk me?

Because I want you to sweet talk me

Why?
Why oh why?

Why must you confuse me?

Why must you confuse me?

Why must you mislead me?

Why must you mislead me?

Why must you lie to me?

Why must you lie to me?

Why must you yell at me?

Why must you yell at me?

Why must you reject me?

Why must you reject me?

Why must you hate me?

Why must you hate me?

Why must you leave me?

Why must you leave me?

Why?

Why oh why?

Because I love you too much~~

Pushing on!

Everyone must push on if they want to get home.

As my legs were giving out, the pain became a hindrance. I said to myself... push on. After the grass there will be something more beyond it.

The blades of grass cut and tear away

Soon... the sun was here, but only to emphasize the naked trees

They were ugly... Their branches hurt a lot worse than the blades of grass.I kept on walking resisting the pain. But the twigs were now covered in a nice sheet of cherry blossom, like the red carpet, it guided the way home.

Thank you cheery blossoms. I'm home now.
There's always something beautiful around the corner

Don't give up

Nice and easy now

Well.... don't you love those days where you can mellow out completely? Like... lay on the grass outside under the tree for several hours and sleep. Humm... reminds me of good old days in summer in year 11(end).
Everything seemed to just fly away. The troubles, the pressure, everything! Fly away. Wish I'd get more days like that. Instead I have to go to bloody Taiwan and enjoy the cold some more :(
Hope we can go do the nelson trip successfully and just lay down by the beach/river/grass and chill till we're at absolute zero. And we look up to see the birds in the sky and say, "Wow... wonder where they're going.. WHO CARES!!!"

We could all use a little bit of "off" time. I'd like to think I'm only working at 30% of Max Capacity this year. Hopefully that Max Capacity doesn't decrease. Next year will be great :D (!)

Just a very chilled out post. No aim in this post except to draw a picture of relaxation. Something for you to look forward to. Someday, somewhere over the rainbow~~

Last post about the day at the beach

Last few shots I'm gonna blog about. The rest should be on my Bebo under the photos section :D

Day at the beach was fun. Look forward to more shots sometime in the future

The peer glows with sunshine

Allan's loving japan. HEHE it's me taking a picture of him taking a picture :o

Bill the seagull stares watches us some more

Christchurch's evening sky.

Little at a time

Too much is too much. Captured around 50 photos from the day at the beach :D, only 40 are kept, i think~~ But that's not the point of this post. It's about spacing them out. Telling a story of a girl who cried a river and drowned the whole world, and that's why we have the ocean.

Coast guard keeping a look out for any visitors.

Sun only. Allan taught me how to capture the sun. First few images. Love how the water shimmers

More starburst effect through the glass and pillars. Showing how nature triumphs over our man made things.

Again with the shadows! BY GOD! Love how Jo casted a very nice long shadow.

Day at the beach

The day started like any other day, with a kick in the nuts from the alarm clock. But today... was beach day. It all started going to Von's

Vinny's is totally dodgey now that he's showing more skin ;) Look at that sinister grin on his face

Scared, they scatter into the wind

Old Bill here (seagull in the pic) likes to take long flights around the beach, occasional visits inland. He's not too territorial and is single ;)

The wet sand made a perfect reflection. Slightly twisted with impurities which makes it so pure

Just digging through more and more photos through my little diary of good photos.
Like a mirror your words reflect who you are

The difference in geography really makes a difference in the rocks DUH!!!!

It's snail!!! It's snail!!! OOOO it's a snail!!! (in the tune of badger badger badger the snake bit)

Sunsets in Angkor Wat as Night Falls in Shang Hai

Might actually consider making a new PannisPhotog :D If i decide to take more pictures, was thinking of taking a picture of the sun sometime todayAnother picture taken before the sunset seen in the previous post.Nice sun going on there :D It's all natural, except the resizing and downsizing :(Loving that sunsetI like this last one because it has the moon in the background and a nice Shang Hai Mist (actually just smog)

Mmmm Pictures 1

M... pictures... i likes....Just some pictures of my travels in china :D last year Also went to Ankor Wat (or however you spell it)Legendary sunset

Photoshop and Me

Well.. I love photoshop now, it's my new best friend (that sometimes fails me - crashes). It's teh awesumz.
Today i went you-tubing and then saw THIS! www.speed-painting.com OMFG! i want that tablet! Wanna just play with that tablet for a LONG TIME! maybe even use it to play starcraft.
Apparently, I micromanage like crazy in Starcraft that if I were to shift my abilities from Starcraft into photoshop, i'll be a legend as well :o funny that. According to Joseph, Yinny's ability to Draw on the PC using whatever is like my ability to play Starcraft! Better start beating them computers now :( lol wish there were training modes on Photoshop lol.

High Definition

Everyone has their own group photo. With them being in the center of it, and people that they are close to around them, and so on. From your parents, extended families, to your friends, your co-workers... all in this massive group photo. But it's not the amount of people you know that matters the most in this photo shoot. It's about definition.

What does it mean to be defined? A picture can be a blur, or it could be sharp. It's basically how much you know about them. The more you know about them, the more colour they will have, the more defined they will be.

What will your group photo be? A massive blur, or in high definition. It's up to you.

With a cipher

Everyone has their own cipher and sometimes you will come across someone with a similar ciphers as yourself. Those people are somewhat special in terms of who you are.
What is a cipher in this context? It's essentially a key to who they are. A key to read into them much deeper than the usual person. You can get passed a cipher, or you can make your own, although making your own requires self skill and maybe a little bit of help. Usually you're better off asking them.

Some people even use these ciphers as a test to see how worthy their opponent is. The truly worthy will see them for who they are, the others see them in a different light.

But what good is a cipher if nobody can read it?

The world we chose to live in

It's the first time that you've ever seen such a chaotic scene. Roads, worn down by tank tracks. Cars piled up on the side with bullet holes and burn marks obviously used as cover. You hear a single shot fired echoing through the city's grid. Tall towers of smoke came out of the sky scrapers. Office buildings bent over as if they were defeated. A tank round is heard followed by a few screams and shouts.

You begin to explore this place that you've never laid eyes upon. You walk carefully around the dead soldiers. Like a strange film, there were only black and white colours. You look carefully at the mauled soldier. He coughed and a dark red colour is seen. His strength fades away... he is no more.

You start to feel cold, a cold breeze perhaps? Ambiance of the surrounding destruction is drowned out by an frightening high pitched noise. You close your eyes in pain and plug your ear drums in hopes of defending yourself from this unpleasant experience. It works. You open your eyes and see a butterfly, magnificently coloured; orange, black, blue and green. You follow it with your eyes. You turned a full circle and watch it fly up towards the blue sky. You daydream for a while about how great it would be to be so beautiful.

You look down again at the path in front of you, but it is not the same. All the buildings were brimming with colour and fully repaired. The pileup on the side of the road were merely parked cars. You rub your eyes in disbelief. What's going on? you say to yourself. What once was a battlefield was now just a nice beautiful street. You say to yourself, "Everything's going to be alright, yea... It'll be just fine."

Sometimes it's hard to tell the truth from the fiction, this is a mini story about a person's inner self. It's about confusion, choices, and mental health. The street defined here at the beginning is a mess - everyone has their downfalls and bad un-presentable times. And in this case, this person's tricked themselves into pretending that the world around is perfectly fine, instead of this battlefield that it was before.
Moral of the story is, you should sometimes face the truth.